If the State of Utah has its way

If the State of Utah has its way, this will be an article in a future newspaper:

ST. GEORGE – A vehicle was stopped along I-15 in southern Utah for a minor traffic violation when an alert officer noticed something suspicious. A child in the back seat had a milk mustache. The officer ordered the family of four out of the vehicle and conducted a search. In the vehicle he found two gallons of RAW milk! Raw milk is unpasteurized whole milk straight from the cow which is a controlled substance, illegal to possess let alone transport on an interstate. The vehicle was seized and taken to a decontamination facility along with the two gallons of raw milk, one opened with some of the contents missing, along with paraphernalia, two sippy cups, a baby bottle and a pack of Oreo cookies. The mother and father were taken into custody and CPS was called to check on the welfare of the children. CPS found that the children, ages one and three, were both born with fetal milkahol syndrome. They also found that they were given this substance to stop crying and at nappy time as well. The judge ordered the parents to take RMA (Raw Milkaholics Anonymous) classes plus 200 community hours flipping burgers and selling soda pop to obese kids at McDonalds.

Jim Jones from the Dept. of Agriculture said that raw milk abuse is a growing problem in rural areas and some abusers are consuming the substance, warm, before going to bed at night and even allowing their children to have it on their cereal in the morning. He said they are on the lookout for any signs of backyard cows which seem to be the source of the problem. They listen for low mooing or the sound of a cow bell that will tip them off to a potential lab. Other signs to look for in your area are unusually healthy children or children with work ethic from having chores, people who’s gardens seem to be well fertilized or hay bales in the back of their station wagons. He advises anyone who sees any of these symptoms to contact the RMTF (Raw Milk Task Force) immediately.

In related news, A chicken crossed the road yesterday, this is not too alarming, chickens cross the road all the time and for various reasons but this chicken happened to cross a road that a cow was walking down. Utah Code — Title 04 — Chapter 03 –section 10 of the Utah Dairy Act states that chickens could potentially carry diseases harmful to humans and therefore are banned from ever crossing a cow’s path (real law). The chicken owner was not fined but was required to destroy the chicken to prevent any further occurrences, the cow owner was told to walk ahead of his cow to insure her safety!

I realize that this is a bit overboard on the sarcasm but it sure is the direction we are headed. Unless our milk is scorched (pasteurized), pulverized (homogenized), stripped of any natural enzymes or vitamins, separated from any fat and fortified with processed enhanced vitamins, it could be, they say, potentially harmful and unhealthy.

If the regulations we have today in the dairy industry were in force during biblical times, they would have shut down the Land of Promise!